Online dating could be a success. You could find the love of your life, or you could have fun meeting new people and going on as many dates as you can. Whatever your goal may be. Alternatively, online dating could be a complete waste of your time and energy. To make sure that it’s not the latter, here are a few warning signs to look out for.
Online dating is making you depressed
Online dating is supposed to be fun, but a lot of people can find it demoralizing and even quite traumatic. You could find that the constant rejection is chipping away at your self-esteem, while the shallowness displayed by certain people may make you lose faith in men. If you find yourself getting depressed by the whole process, it’s probably best to give it a break.
You’ve already got a large social circle
If you’ve already got lots of friends and acquaintances, you could have plenty of social opportunities to take advantage of instead of trying to meet people online. Even if you consider yourself fairly introverted, you could find that it’s actually less draining to talk to friends of friends in person than it is to talk to complete strangers on the internet. Online dating may have its successes, but meeting people in person is still the most popular and effective way to form relationships.
You’re getting too obsessed
Do you find yourself constantly checking your messages to see if your match has replied? Do you keep reading over your matches bios and studying their photos? Have you been Googling them and hunting them down on social media? If so, it could be a sign that you’re getting a little too obsessed with this online dating malarkey. Online dating can be unhealthily addictive for some people and with each match, you could find that you get more attached.
You’re in search of a meaningful conversation
Most people on Tinder and Bumble won’t be looking for a deep or meaningful conversation. It’s mostly going to be chat-up lines, banter, and small talk about shared interests. If a meaningful conversation is essential to you for building chemistry, you may want to consider other ways of meeting people.
You don’t want to play the whole online dating ‘game’
Online dating is a game – there are proven strategies and rules for succeeding. If you don’t like the idea of having to play along and are looking for a more natural way of meeting people in which you can be yourself, online dating may not be for you.
If online dating isn’t for me – what is???
There are many other ways to meet people beyond dating apps and matchmaking sites.
If you want to get straight into a conversation with someone, you could try a dating chat line for instance. There are specialist chatlines for every ethnicity and religion ranging from latino chat numbers to jewish chat numbers. Talking to people could be a much easier way of getting to know people (unless you hate phone conversations, in which case it could be a lot more awkward).
There are also traditional dating events such as singles nights at clubs and speed dating nights for meeting people in person. Knowing that everyone at these events is single could make it easier to approach people that you have an interest in.
Then of course there are everyday social situations where you may still get lucky. If you need to widen your social circle, consider joining social groups and attending events that you’d usually turn down. You can ask friends to matchmake for you – especially those gregarious friends that seem to know everyone. You may even be able to meet people through regular social media.