Whether you are dating and considering taking things to the next level and making things official with your love interest, or whether you have been in a long-term marriage with your partner, it’s extremely important that you really focus on how things are progressing between the two of you.
Believe it or not, relationships and their dynamic can change at any point. This can happen suddenly due to a dramatic event that changes how you see or feel about one another and how you treat each other, or it can be a gradual process in which behavior slowly changes and alterations aren’t quite so easily noticeable.
You need to keep an eye on this to ensure that the changes you experience are positive rather than negative and so that you can either encourage further change or discourage change that is proving detrimental to your relationship.
Doing this will help to ensure that you remain in a healthy and positive relationship and will keep you safe, content, and happy. Here are a few areas to focus on in order to determine what is best for you!
Life Goals
Some people really click and have a great bond. They have all sorts of common interests, make one another laugh, and serve as a great means of support for one another. This can all make for a great relationship. But there is something further that you may need in order to make sure that your relationship works in the long run – mutual life goals.
If you both want your relationship to progress at the same speed, you both agree on whether you want children or not, you both agree whether you want to marry or not, things could go swimmingly. If you both want to live in the same area, if you both want to do similar things with your free time such as traveling or spending time in new places, if you both are happy to engage a similar amount with one another’s families, again – things should be fine.
Problems occur when your life goals and how you picture your lives varies drastically and when you have dissimilar images of perfection. Of course, people can compromise to an extent. But if one desperately wants children and one doesn’t or if one desperately wants to travel the world and the other doesn’t want to leave their hometown, you are going to clash.
These aspects of your wants and needs may not ever work together and you need to determine whether your relationship really can work in the long run or whether you want to find someone with similar goals.
Red Flags
When you are in a relationship, you need to keep a constant eye out for red flags that indicate inappropriate or unacceptable behavior. There are certain things that relationships can overcome. But there are certain things that you really do not need to put up with and that you should walk away from. This can, of course, be difficult, as this type of behavior tends to happen once and you argue that you can forgive it and that your partner will change.
But chances are that they won’t change and this will just give them a green light to continue their behavior, as they will believe that they will be forgiven time and time again and given endless second chances – after all, if you didn’t draw the line the first time, why should you next time?
Here are some serious red flags to always watch out for. If you experience any, remember that there are numerous sources of support out there that you can reach out to!
Violence
If your partner exhibits any signs of violence towards you, you need to take it extremely seriously. This may start out as a push, a shove, or a slap but it could progress into something worse. Individuals experiencing domestic violence are not alone – just take a look at the me too movement. There is so much support out there. From support groups to safe houses.
Infidelity
Non-consensual sexual and romantic relations outside of a relationship can prove extremely hurtful and damaging to an individual’s confidence, happiness, and general mental health. Sure, many couples can overcome individual cases of infidelity. But you don’t have to accept this. Take time to determine what’s best for you. You may want to reach out to a couples therapist if you are struggling to accept what has happened. This will allow you to talk things through in a neutral environment where you can come to logical conclusions with professional supervision and guidance.
Having Individual Space
Healthy relationships allow each person involved to have their own space should they want it. You don’t have to be in one another’s pockets 24/7. This could cause you to become overwhelmed with one another’s company. Make sure that you are both able to pursue your own careers, friendships, and social lives without necessarily having to take your partner along to absolutely everything with you. This will help to ensure that you can both grow as individuals as well as growing as a couple.
Spending Quality Time Together
Life can be hectic. You’re likely to be run off your feet with work commitments, social arrangements, and if you have kids you can wave goodbye to quality alone time for the most part of the week. But you do need to make sure that you and your partner do spend some quality alone time together.
This can be simple or extravagant, depending on your tastes. You could sit and watch your favorite television series without interruption, you could spend a little extra time chatting in bed on your days off, you could head out for meals, to browse museums and art galleries, to watch a new film at the cinema, or book into a spa day. Whatever you choose to do, you should make sure that it’s something that you both enjoy and that allows you to let your hair down and just enjoy being in one another’s company.
These are just a few steps that you can take in order to make sure that you are in a positive and healthy relationship that revels in good times and makes its way through hard times. Monitoring your relationship can help to achieve this. Hopefully, the above advice will give you some starting points to progress from!
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