There have been pieces of my life that have been stressful as of late. I cannot pretend everything is smooth running all the time. My mother was my main resource for the longest time and she still is. A quote that my mother uses, “You’re only as happy as your saddest child.” My life’s drama can wear her down. She has her own problems and she’s a better fixer than a listener sometimes.
It has been no secret that emotional support or crisis hotlines exist. I have also always thought that they were hokey or that my problems were unimportant so I didn’t try to use them… until now. My therapist, mother, and friends are all great resources – they will help me stay in one piece. At times it feels like holding me together is a burden to them. I will not let everything out because it feels as though they cannot handle dealing with me anymore.
A friend of mine understood the way that I was feeling and he sent me two phone numbers. One of them is a number that you can call and they will speak to you for ten minutes about anything under the sun. It is specifically for people that feel alone. The first time I utilized this number was a day that I was working. A particularly stressful situation arose and I was uncertain about how to handle it.
It is a situation that has been coming and going for a few weeks now. I am struggling to control my emotions regarding it. My first instinct was to call my mother, but instead, I decided to give one of these numbers a try. The worst case scenario would be that I did not enjoy it, it did nothing to help me and I never used it again. That was not the case. I was nervous but the voice on the end of the line did the best she could to make me feel comfortable and at ease.
I found myself spilling my guts to this complete stranger. It was almost easier than talking to people that I knew because I also knew that she did not know me. She did not know anything other than my zip code. This woman was a complete stranger and nothing I said could be held against me. There was no one to be angry at me for anything I said. I let everything spill out.
For something I believed to be hokey and awkward, I felt so much better after trying it out. My emotions were more in check. I felt that I could calmly finish going about my work day without much more stress. I knew that I could use this resource in the future. The woman I was speaking to told me some people call two or three times a day.
It was comforting knowing other people used this hotline. It took away some of the overwhelming feelings that I have been carrying on my shoulders. I know that during trigger warnings and other things, people may see advertisements for things like these hotlines or for 7Cups. My suggestion is to just try it. What have you got to lose?
