Taking The Grim Reaper Into Extra-Time

We don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but death is coming. For all of us. There’s literally nothing we can do about, which is the most gorgeously bittersweet part of living. It is knowing that the clock is ticking and that we should squeeze every last drop of juice out of each and every day. Sure, the idea of death is not anyone’s idea of a happy topic, but it’s what spurs us on and helps us get up in the morning. It’s what makes us appreciate a beautiful sunrise and seeing new parts of the world and realises there is better food than Pret’s crayfish sandwiches.

But even though we know the Reaper is coming for us all at some stage in life, that doesn’t mean we can’t fight back a little and find ways to prolong our lives that little bit more. Ultimately, we can’t win the game. We know that. But the most exciting game’s are the ones that get sent into overtime.

So, without further ado, here are some of the best things you can do to live longer than the chaps upstairs and down ever anticipated.

 

  1. 1,100 Is The Magic Number…

At least it is when it comes to burning calories per week. According to scientists (and who better is there to listen to), burning 1,100 calories a week through exercise will help prevent visceral adipose tissue from developing. For those who don’t know what that is, which is probably everyone, this is the dangerous belly fat that causes hypertension and inflammation. Our advice: join the gym, find a gym buddy and help each other hit at least 1,100 calories a week and then revel in the fact your friendship will last longer than most because, well, you’re bpth going to live longer than most.

 

  1. 40-Ounces Of The Clear Stuff…

That’s right. 40-ounces of water a day is a great way to avoid getting stung by a fatal heart attack. Obviously, try not to drink all forty ounces in one go because, well, you’re not Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Instead, just enjoy five glasses of water a day. Trust us, it works. In fact, you’ll be 55% less likely to have a heart attack than those who drink just two glasses of water a day. You’ve gotta like those odds.

 

  1. Laughter Is Good For The Heart…

Like really-really good for the heart. Our advice: have a laughter break every day. Seriously. Schedule in a fifteen-minute break whereby you watch hilarious Youtube videos or work your way through Kevin Hart’s stand up in a quarter of an hour chunks and smile at the fact the blood flow to your heart will have improved no end, by which we mean 50%. It’s crazy, right? Who would have thunk that laughing for fifteen minutes a day could reduce your chances of a blood clot, inflammation and/or cholesterol build up.

 

  1. Make Time For Magnesium…

You probably take multivitamins, which is good. But you probably don’t take multivitamins that contain magnesium because they’re so big an elephant would choke on them. However, instead of just going, “nah”, what you should do is buy some extra magnesium pills to add to your morning routine, and the reason for this is those that have high levels of magnesium in their blood are 40% less likely to die. From anything. Or at least from any natural cause. It’s not like you’ll take a 250mg magnesium pill and suddenly be invincible should a car hop a red light.

 

  1. 3 Is The Limits…

We know how easy it is to get carried away once you’ve had a drink. It starts with one cheeky house wine and it ends up with the most stinging hangover you’ve ever experienced and the words regret tattooed in to your frontal lobe. But you really need to try and stick to three or less drinks in a 24 hour period. Any more than this and you’ll increase your chances of atrial fibrillation, which is basically this condition that makes your chances of suffering go up fivefold. Not ideal. Oh, and something else we should probably mention on the drink front, is when the average person pours themselves a drink, it tends to be twice the size of a standard. Just some drink for thought.

 

  1. Read What Others Say…

Reading is one of the best things anyone can do. It educates you. It motivates and inspires you. That’s not just me saying that either, it’s a fact. It’s been proven by studies. It could be that you’re struggling with bereavement, in which case have a read of the best selling Affable In Adversity. Or maybe you’re living with lung cancer, in which case visit SurvivingMesothelioma.com to see how others have managed to prolong their life. It could just be that you want to know if it’s possible to eat healthier while working a full-time job and being the mom of four children/animals.

 

  1. Take Sick Days…

We don’t just mean take sick days because you feel like staying home and watching 90210 repeats. We mean, stay home if you really are feeling sick instead of worrying whether people will a) believe you or b) hate you and going in as a result. The reason we’re giving you this advice is to tell you there are studies proving those that go into work despite feeling under the weather are at double the risk of heart attack compared to those that decide to just stay under the covers and wrap themselves up in self-pity.

 

  1. Heartburn Is Really Bad…

To put it into the most simple terms possible, if you get heartburn and don’t treat it then you are more likely to suffer a heart attack. At least, that’s one people at the International Journal of Cardiology are saying, but what could they possibly know? The reason the two are linked is, as the acid in your oesophagus rises, the blood flow to your heart drops. So, if you are susceptible to heartburn, then make sure you have medication in your bathroom cupboard to treat it. Other than that, just watch your lifestyle. Watch what you eat and, more importantly, what you drink because wine, juice and fizzy drinks are all bad choices.

 

  1. Give In To Your Chocolate Cravings…

We know how the saying goes, “a second on your lips, a lifetime on your hips,” but those who eat 4 grams of cocoa a day are actually less likely to suffer from heart disease than those who decide to refrain from such a delicious indulgence. And even if you are worried about chocolate making it so you can’t fit into your favourite jeans, 4 grams is not a lot. In fact, 4 grams is such a small amount it can fit into the most strict diets known to humankind.

 

  1. 5 A Day Really Does Work…

For the sceptics out there, the whole eat five-a-day thing is little more than the government’s way of distracting you from the more severe problem out there. But, as studies show, it eating five helpings of fruit and veg a day is, in fact, a great way of reducing your chances of having a stroke by over 25% compared to someone who only chomps on a couple of produce helpings. That’s a pretty big leap. So just imagine how bad it is if you don’t eat any a day.

 

  1. Don’t Pee In The Sea…

We know everyone does it. Oh, come on, they do. But you should try and refrain because pee actually attracts sharks. Not just pee, but all bodily fluids. If, however, you forget this advice (or just refuse to believe it) and find a shark swimming towards you licking its lips, defend yourself by hitting it in its most sensitive areas – it’s eyes and gills. Sure, you could take a swipe at its nose, but that’s a pretty surefire way of getting a bitten arm, which isn’t going to help.

 

  1. Eat Breakfast Nice And Early…

The longer you wait to eat breakfast, the more your chance of becoming obese. Now, we know that may sound counter-intuitive, but there are plenty of reasons why this happens. First off, the longer you wait, the more your body has to store up fat deposits to counter it. But that’s not all. The increase in body mass is directly relatable to gut cancer, whether that be the rectal, colon, liver or bladder. So, basically, what we’re saying is, if you want to prolong your life, start getting into the habit of waking up and eating asap.

 

  1. Berries, Baby…

Raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, cranberries and whatever other berries are out there are all known to help out on the stroke-prevention front. Not only that, but they keep your brain sharp as you get older and ward off most types of cancer too. Our advice: start putting berries on top of your early morning breakfast and celebrate the fact you’ll live to 100 or something unheard of.

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