Did you know that about 40-50 percent of married couples will get a divorce? But what could be the cause of such a huge number of divorces?
Well, for most couples, irreconcilable differences are the biggest challenge. And since it’s normal to move on to other things at the first sight of a challenge, most couples end up throwing in the towel without hesitation.
However, what most people fail to understand is that it takes patience, self-control, and determination to improve a relationship. Whether the issue is an accumulation of little things or something big that has just happened, you need to know that you can always turn the situation around.
If you’re wondering how to save your marriage, check out the seven tips below.
1. Seek Help
Don’t hesitate to ask for help when you experience difficulty tackling your relationship problems.
Qualified couple therapists are readily available to help you begin the process of repairing your bond. To top that, they’ll help both of you address your relationship problems in a more reasonable manner. Introducing a neutral third-party in your relationship can also help you realize and accept your mistakes.
2. Give Each Other Space
Space is crucial in a relationship that’s characterized by stress. Not only does it provide a good opportunity for partners to evaluate the current situation, but it also helps them see their faults.
So the next time you have problems, suggest going for separate weekend getaways or even a short vacation. This time away will help both of you analyze the issues and make level-headed decisions about the relationship.
Who knows? You may even end up missing each other.
3. Be More Positive
Most people tend to focus more on the negative deeds their partners have done to them and forget about the good things – which in most cases outweigh the bad things. This, in turn, makes them do other wrong things in an attempt to revenge, leading to a cycle of hurt and resentment.
Instead of revenge, both of you should work on showing your positive qualities and what made you love each other in the first place.
Ditch the blame games and the complaining. This negative energy will only make your partner defensive and lead to irreparable damages in the relationship.
You may also want to try posing your concerns as requests. For instance, you could request your partner to go on a date with you, instead of complaining that you’re not spending enough time together.
Remember, the best way to solve a problem in any relationship is to think of your partner as a friend, rather than an enemy.
4. Use Constructive Criticism
If you’re trying to save a marriage, it’s vital you pay attention to how you talk to your partner. Avoid beginning your sentences with “You”, especially when you’re addressing a negative concern. It makes your statements feel like accusations and will often lead to disagreements and fights.
Instead, start your statements with “Me” or “I”. For instance, rather than saying “You never listen”, you can say “I usually feel neglected when I ask you for something and you don’t reply”.
With that in mind, strive to ask things politely so that your requests don’t fall on deaf ears.
5. Change Your Appearance
Dealing with a rocky marriage can be both physically and emotionally overwhelming. At this point, it’s easy for you to let your looks slip. However, this may make you less attractive to your partner and may lead to a lack of intimacy.
To avoid falling into this trap, try to incorporate new looks to your style. You could start by trying out new hair colors, playing dress-up, or getting a new haircut.
Whatever it’ll be, you can be certain you’ll notice an increase in self-esteem as well as a change in the way your spouse sees you.
6. Bond More
Another way you can save your marriage is by sparing time to emotionally connect with your spouse.
This connection can involve anything from spending one hour every day talking to taking frequent walks or even finding new things to do together. This is also the best time of finding a presenter or a standup comic who you’ll both love. Humor will certainly lighten up the mood.
Also, doing simple things like sitting close together on the couch or lightly touching while talking can go a long way into restoring your broken bond. These little, cute things are known to release oxytocin, which is known to be the bonding hormone of the body.
7. Talk it Out
The biggest part of making your marriage work is improving communication. Both you and your partner should be ready to open up about any bottled-up feelings of anger and resentment.
At the same time, make sure to be specific on the actions you’re going to take in saving your marriage. An excellent way to do this is by writing a list of all things hurting both of you. Ensure to go through the list together noting what caused the misunderstandings. Finally, apologize to each other and avoid commenting on the mistakes in the future.
Good communication will open opportunities for growth and harmony in your marriage.
Final Word on How to Save Your Marriage
Now that you know how to save your marriage, try putting some effort to improve the situation. Everything is not lost. The truth is, none of you are perfect.
So, it’s your responsibility to embrace your partner’s flaws to reduce collisions. Don’t try to change them into somebody that you want. This will only lead to more problems.
Strive to treat each other with love and kindness, and constantly keep reminding yourself that your partner isn’t the enemy.
Good luck on your marriage!