When Forgive and Forget Isn’t an Option: How to Really Move On

We’ve all come across situations in life where a relationship whether romantic or otherwise has ended or someone has hurt us and moving on from that can been difficult. I definitely have been in such a situation and the advice I always received from people was to forgive and forget (something easier said than done) or to seek closure in some way.

While this may be sound advice and may have helped others, it did not help me in any way. I for one, could neither forgive nor forget and closure wasn’t an option. So what next?

The answer is letting go. And no, I don’t claim to have a road map for this but the one thing I’m sure about is that it takes time. You don’t just get over it. It’s a process. Broken relationships take their toll on us and navigating all those emotions is something we have to do on our own.

Read my articles on dealing with broken relationships:
There’s light at the end of a relationship http://abettertodaymedia.com/theres-light-end-relationship/ 
How to heal after a breakup http://abettertodaymedia.com/how-to-heal-after-a-breakup/ 

Letting go is what happens when you face your emotions and feel your feelings. No matter what anyone says, until you do this you cannot heal and healing is the ultimate goal. So once you’ve shed your tears till you’ve run dry or screamed until your voice turned hoarse or whatever it is that releases those pent up emotions, you can begin your journey towards healing.

And while this road may be riddled with roadblocks of memories and nostalgia remember this, the only way is through it. Take your time, don’t let anyone rush your healing. This is your rebirth, it’s bound to be painful.

When you’re on the other side of your healing, you’ll realize you’ve achieved what you set out to do, you’ve moved on and you’ve done this all on your own. Today when I look back, I choose to see the good and remember the people I’ve loved for who they were and what they meant to me at certain points in my life.

I haven’t forgotten them and quite honestly I haven’t forgiven them. To me, forgiveness is linked to understanding and if I can’t understand why someone did something, I can’t forgive them. Closure was never an option for me to begin with so let’s get that out of the way too.

Today, I’m happy and proud to tell you that I’ve moved on and I hope sharing this helps someone, anyone in a similar situation.

About Author

Karishma R.K

Karishma R.K writes under the pseudonym of Phoenix Mode. She holds a degree in Law and describes herself as a lover of words, books, and animals. Karishma believes writers put a fragment of their soul in all that they write; bleeding their hearts and minds onto paper. Writing is something she started later in life, but doesn't plan to stop anytime soon.

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