How often have you said “I’m fine” when you clearly weren’t? I bet many times, I know I have. Why is saying “I’m fine” like a default setting which is triggered when someone asks you how you are? Many of us don’t want to be seen as vulnerable or weak but what we don’t realise is that being those things is what makes us human. To be human is to feel and no one should be ashamed/afraid to show emotion.
Women are afraid of being perceived as the weaker sex and men have the pressure of carrying the ‘men don’t cry’ tag. But you know what? That’s bullshit! Who made these rules and gender based compartmentalization of emotions. Anyone who calls women the weaker sex clearly forgets concepts such as child birth and periods. And as far as men are concerned all I can say is-this is your life. Let no one dictate how and what you feel. Only insecure people make such rules. Your masculinity will in no way lessen if you cry.
Coming to the other side of “I’m fine”, the person asking the question. When you ask someone if they’re fine and they reply in the affirmative when it’s obvious that they are in fact not fine, I request you to ask them a few times again. What’s the worst that could happen? They’ll maybe think you’re mad or snap at you, well atleast you tried…and maybe you’re wrong and they truly are fine. But in my experience most people’s walls crumble after being asked if they’re fine a few times (me included) and when they confide in you,then comes the time for you to be there for them.
So I hope that the next time you hear someone say I’m fine, you go that extra mile to make sure they truly are. I hope that the next time you feel the urge to suppress your emotions and carry all that weight on your shoulders alone, you let someone in and share the load with you.
I hope you resist the “I’m fine” bubbling out of your throat.