Imagine every day that you wake up to your ears ringing, the world spinning, a feeling of nausea and just pausing. You lie in bed for hours and people think that it’s just being lazy. You get called lazy more often than not because no one really understands that the world is spinning and the vertigo is just out of control.
That’s what it’s like dealing with Meniere’s Disease every day. Not many people actually know what Meniere’s Disease is, so a brief run-through – it’s an inner ear disease. It’s chronic. It can last for the rest of your life. There’s no cure for it. You have to deal with the ears ringing, the world spinning every single day.
Pushing through the day with the world spinning makes it hard to do simple things. It’s hard to drive. It’s hard to eat because of nausea, yet you know that you have to. You have to go through it anyway. It’s hard to work because your vision blurs at times and you can’t handle it. You can’t handle everything that’s happening so you just get back in bed or lie down on the couch at irregular times. Closing your eyes is the best option sometimes but that doesn’t stop the ear ringing.
It doesn’t stop the ear ringing though. That ear ringing that never stops. It’s constant, leading to migraines. Leading into frustration and anxiety. Work isn’t getting done so it leads to a feeling of depression… depression and anxiety mixed together is easily the worst feeling in the universe.
That’s what it’s like living with Meniere’s Disease every single day. That’s what it’s like living with this horrible disease- it’s rare, so when you end up in the ER, inevitably, they don’t know what to do. They recommend yet another ENT Doctor that you can’t afford and send you on the way. The pressure behind your ear is still throbbing though.
All I know when this happens – all I know is that I’ve accomplished nothing and that my depression is in overdrive. All I know is that my anxiety is hitting full force because I don’t know what else to do or if there’s anything that I can do. I’ve tried to hold a normal job, I’ve tried to work for myself. I’ve tried everything that I can to just keep going, but some days it’s really difficult.
The thing though, I’m a fighter. I get underestimated quite frequently but I’m a fighter. I’m someone that will keep going. I know that I’m going to keep pushing forward, I’m going to keep going and I’m going to keep trying. Anyone with a disability knows how hard that this can be – especially when it’s a disability that someone hasn’t heard of before. Especially when the disability is something that’s not “normal”. It’s not something that’s been heard of. It’s not something that’s advertised regularly.
The advice I have for anyone with a disability – a rare disability is to keep fighting. Keep moving forward. Do the best that you can do. My disability – it may not seem as serious as some of the things that people have heard of. I always have a fear of seeming whiny. I just know that I need to keep fighting. I need to keep going, I need to keep moving on and need to keep fighting forward. I will always keep fighting forward. Some disabilities are visible. Others aren’t. Others can’t be seen. This is what it’s like. I’m going to keep fighting. Everyone should just keep fighting, whether the disability is physical or mental, just keep fighting.
Tomorrow is always going to be a better day. Today is a better day than yesterday and every day is exactly what you make it. Every day is what you make it. Everyday is what you want it to be. You choose your today and today, despite my disability and the issues that it can cause, I choose happiness.