Need Advice? Look in the Mirror

“Advice is something we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” – Erica Jong

I can’t count how many times I’ve asked for advice, didn’t hear what I wanted, so did the opposite… But the results are always like waking up from a hangover, you tell yourself, I will never do that again. Turns out, being an “askhole” happens more often than I’d like to admit.

“Askhole: a person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you tell them.”

There are countless articles about the advice they would give their younger self. I don’t know about you, but my headstrong teenage self probably would have replied, “I know what I’m doing.  Leave me alone.” It’s easy to look back and see what you could have done differently.

That’s why I’m ditching the advice to my younger self, and asking, If you met your life today in a different body, what advice would you give?

The truth is, you’d know exactly what to tell them, down to the tiniest detail. You wouldn’t hesitate to tell them how to feel healthier, what to do about that grudge, what they should do with their relationship, their job, their family, their self-esteem.

So why do we seek out self-help books, gurus, leaders… when we innately know the answer?  Want to feel healthier? Move more. Eat more healthy food than non-healthy food. Why do we need a 300-page book to tell us what we already know? Things don’t have to be so complicated.

Get some perspective. You probably already know what to do.

“I never make the same mistake twice, I make it like 5 or 6 times, you know, just to be sure.”

At some point, you’ll get tired of the “hangover”. You’ll put down that “shot-glass” take a good look at your situation, maybe ask a friend for some input, and take the big or small step towards the life you want.


Pssst… It’s OKAY to ask for help when you need help. I’m not saying DON’T ever ask for advice: I’m saying, don’t ask for advice on things you already know the answer to – you’re badass, you PROBABLY already know what to do. Remember: what would you say to your life in a different body?

About Author

Stephanie is President of A Better Today Media & Publishing. She's a Social Media Director, Media & Events Coordinator, Social Media Consultant and Producer. She enjoys volunteering with children and adults with disabilities, and providing music therapy for residents in nursing homes.

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