Motherhood – Learning to Love Who You’ve Become

I gave birth to identical twin boys six months ago, baby number 3 and 4 for me. My body changed in ways I never thought possible. My belly expanded to a point where it ended up carrying two babies weighing a total of almost 12 pounds! That number again 12 pounds!

How amazing is the female body that it can house not one but two tiny little humans. It nurtures them, allows them to develop and grow, until they are ready to come into this world. Here I am six months later punishing myself for not having the ‘perfect’ body, flattest belly, and my best dress on every day.

Motherhood is a journey that should be embraced, that allows a woman to learn new things about herself. Motherhood is a challenge, it is a defining moment in a woman’s life, it is a mix of emotions: happiness, sadness, anxiety, nervousness, absolute joy, endearing pain, but most of all- an absolutely life changing moment. So as a new mother, or a second or third time mother, we all feel the same. The hardest part is recovering from this nine month journey that changes us forever.

As new mothers, we tend to put a lot of effort into trying to be that perfect ‘woman’- you know the one with immaculate hair and makeup (hello social media!), perfect mani/pedi, size 2 figure and the one who just seems to have it all together. Where does this stem from? Maybe the pressure that society places on women. These inadequacies, as us moms like to call them, force us into a downward spiral that leaves us sick, to the point where we not only need to take care of our newborn babies/children, but ourselves also. Meaning no rest for the restless at all!

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I want to remind all mothers (and myself) that it is okay to not be the perfect mother. It is totally normal to be feeling a mix of emotions all at once. It is normal to have your hair up in a messy bun all day, with yoga pants and a spit up/vomit stained shirt, chipped nails, toes in need of a pedicure, dry skin that hasn’t seen moisture in weeks, and a belly the bloats after every meal (by the way this is called postpartum body).

All of this is okay, it will be okay. One day when you have that immaculate hair, with hand model worthy nails and the flattest belly, you will miss ‘the good old days.’ Because our kids would have grown, our home will be so quiet we will need to find new hobbies to keep us entertained, and our hearts will miss the younger years when our children relied on us more than 99% of the time.

So embrace motherhood, live a little every so often, appreciate yourself, treat yourself, enjoy every sleepless night and super early morning. As they say, kids grow too fast and one day you will wish you could turn back time to the ‘good old days.’

Appreciate your body, love it for all of its glory, on the good days, the bad days, the belly bloat days (thanks period) and the amazing days. Love all of you, your body created the most amazing thing in the universe, a human, nothing will ever compare to that. Learn to love who you are as a mom, partner, individual, and this way you will be teaching your children to learn to love themselves more, and care less about what society pressures them to act and look like.

Remember, mother’s day is every single day, not just one day a year. So celebrate you every day, do something special for you every so often, not only once a year. Some days it’s okay not to be okay, not to be perfect, not to feel sane. On those days, laugh a little, walk away from the daily grind and live, yes you can live even if you are a mother. Happy Mother’s Day to all of the amazing and inspiring women all around the world! There is not one definition of a mother, in whatever form yours comes in, make this day all about the most amazing woman in the universe, YOU!

I leave you all with this quote, one to remember always:

 

About Author

Ashourina Yalda

Ashourina’s love for writing started from a young age, always being one to doodle words on school books and paying most of her attention to her English teachers. She has a background in law and dispute resolution but spends her nights writing when she has spare time, in between playing Mum to 4 kids. What inspires her to write is the desire to send out hope and love into the world. She finds inspiration to be one of the main things we need in our daily lives, and of course, coffee too. Ash spent her whole life in Australia and made the leap 4 years ago to the U.S!

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