After I lost my grandfather I always worried about my grandmother, whether she’d be around whenever it was that I walked down the aisle, whether they’d see their grandchildren. But life played the cruelest of jokes on me by unexpectedly taking my dad from me. I had never even considered him not being a part of my future. One day he was there and the next day he wasn’t.
No one can prepare you for death but I feel that when a loved one is terminally ill or has a prolonged illness, we at least have time to say the things we want. The thing with sudden deaths like heart attacks and accidents is that we never get to say that one last goodbye. I may be wrong, it may just be a case of the grass being greener on the other side but I will forever regret not being able to speak to him one last time.
One of the things I’ve learned through this is that there is no correct way to grieve, everyone expresses their grief differently. Also the fact that grief comes without an expiry date. Some days it stays in the background while on others it cripples us…it’s something we have to learn to live with.
We must choose to remember the good times. Those memories and childhood anecdotes which crack us up despite of everything because that’s how our loved ones would want to see us…smiling and laughing.
I don’t know about heaven and hell and life after death but I’d like to believe that my dad is someplace nice and peaceful, looking down upon us and hopefully proud of us.
Life is unpredictable and fragile so live it to the fullest. Spend time with your parents and grandparents. Do the things you want to do, say what you want to, and please tell someone if you love them.
A big hug to your parents and grandparents!