Self-sabotage doesn’t always look so deliberate. Such as, standing in line at your local fast food joint talking about your new diet. You, and you alone have the ability to hinder your happiness, derail your relationships, and cripple your career. Pay attention to the signs:
1.) Telling Yourself, “I can’t do that.” – How do you know if you haven’t tried? I can’t do that, because [I don’t have time, I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not insert more bs excuses here]. The only reason you can’t do something is because you tell yourself you can’t. Stop.
2.) Telling Yourself, “I deserve better.” Do you though? Are you an overeating couch potato that says you deserve to be healthy? Are you disrespectful, but say that you deserve to be treated kindly? Are you working for the weekend, but say you deserve to be successful? You’re telling yourself you deserve better, but settling for the mundane. If you’re someone who thinks they deserve better – evaluate your life, your choices, your attitude and determine if this is true… and then prove it.
3.) You Have Wishes Instead of Goals. Have you ever tried to solve a complex math problem in your head? Having a goal without writing it down is like solving a math problem in your head. You’re more likely to work it out if you have a plan for it. Write down what you want – and how you’re going to get it. The only difference between a wish and a goal, is whether or not you write it down and make a plan.
4.) The Glass is Always Half-Empty. You’re right. If you’re focusing on what could go wrong, or the one thing that went wrong… congratulations, you’re deliberately hindering your happiness. Why would you choose that? Happiness, gratitude, positivity; they’re all choices… yes, things don’t always go as planned, but there is ALWAYS a reason to be grateful. And in that, you win.
5.) You’re Stuck In The Past. You’re existing, but you’re not alive. Let go. Let go of the, “could have” “should have” “would have”. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. On the other hand, some people are stuck in the past of when everything was “right”. – you need to let this go as well. Life has ups and downs – that’s the way life works. Be grateful for the ups, and learn from the downs. It’s 2019, come join us.
Know what you are, and know what you’re not. Focus on your strengths, pursue your passions, and always do your best. The way you speak to yourself matters. Stop sabotaging your life, your relationships, your career. If you think you deserve better – prove it. If you think you can do better – prove it. No one is going to do it for you.
Respect yourself enough to make things happen in your life. Focus on the positive, find reasons to be grateful. If you’re a self-saboteur, own it and break the cycle. You get what you put in, so it’s always on YOU. There is no one else to blame. Take responsibility for your actions or lack of actions, and move forward. You got this.